A Sense of Connection: LaoTong

Cover of "Snow Flower and the Secret Fan:...

Cover of Snow Flower and the Secret Fan: A Novel

Almost two weeks ago I went with my friend Cindy to see the movie “Snow Flower and the Secret Fan.”  We are both Lisa See fans and read this book in preparation of seeing the movie this summer… and then thought we’d be renting it (ala “Jane Eyre”) but it came to Rochester with an Independent Movie Series!  Yay!

We both agreed that it was a beautiful movie, even with the modern storyline which wasn’t part of the book.  The book tells the story of two girls who are matched to be LaoTongs, or Old Sames, at a young age.  Wikipedia and Lisa See (the author) describe LaoTongs in this way:

Lao Tong or Old Sames was a more rare and formal relationship between women and was exclusive and life-long. Women of suitable birthdays, ages, backgrounds and birth-signs would be paired this way in a bond of exclusive sisterhood that would last a lifetime and would survive marriage, child-birth and widow-hood. A Lao Tong relationship would be rarely renounced or broken. (Wikipedia)

“A laotong match is as significant as a good marriage,” Lily’s aunt explained. “A laotong relationship is made by choice for the purpose of emotional companionship and eternal fidelity. A marriage is not made by choice and has only one purpose – to have sons.” “Snow Flower and the Secret Fan” is the story of such a friendship. (Lisa See)

I haven’t been paired with an Old Same since birth, but I do have friendships with amazing women that have survived (ha!) marriages and children and distance.  I also see great value in creating meaningful relationships and maintaining connections with them.  After I read “The Girls from Ames” I set out to create a group of women that meets monthly to create a real-life network of amazing women, to learn from each other and support each other.  We are in our second year and our time together is something I look forward to each month!

The Chinese women sworn to be Old Sames used a secret women’s language – nushu – to communicate with each other.  We use Facebook, email, or phone calls to maintain connection with those who live a distance away, or we use walks, dinners, or girls’ night out to maintain and grow connections with those we can have more frequent contact with. No need to send servants between villages and households with secret language written on fans, but we can write letters to be delivered by the US Postal Service.

With the release of the DVD on 11/1, many book clubs are having LaoTong Nights – groups of women getting together to watch the movie and discuss their female friendships and the things they do (or can do) to maintain connections.  Below is the information they are encouraging people to think about and discuss as they think about their friendships and watch “Snow Flower and the Secret Fan.”

What would you add to the list below?  Have you ever planned a way to reconnect with someone you lost touch with?

Lily and Snow Flower had an intense friendship that lasted a lifetime.  Nushu helped them communicate and remain close, even in distance.  Everyone has that old friend they have known for a long time, yet find it hard to keep in touch.  Both get busy with their separate lives and don’t take the time to catch up with one another.  In honor of Snow Flower and the Secret Fancoming to Blu-ray and DVD November 1st, here’s a guide for keeping in touch with your besties, through whatever life may put between you.

Write Letters

There’s nothing like a handwritten letter to let someone know that you care and are thinking about them. Make a point of writing to your long-distance friend at least once a month, and giving them updates on what’s going on in your life, and asking what’s new in their life. If you’re so inclined, you can include photos or other small tokens of your friendship with your letters. This simple, heartfelt update will go a long way in making your friendship last.

Take a Trip Together

If it’s within both of your budgets, you and your bestie should take a trip together! Meet up in different places each year – places that are either meaningful to you both, or places that you two have always wanted to visit together. Have a weekend in Las Vegas, a week at the theme parks in Orlando, a glamorous trip to Hollywood, or a long, restful weekend in New England. Making new memories (or reliving old ones) will help keep your friendship vibrant.

Skype

One of the greatest inventions for modern day friendships is Skype. Making a weekly or biweekly “Skype date” can give you a chance to both talk to and see your long-distance friend on a regular basis. Best of all, Skype is free to use, even if you’re video-chatting someone internationally! Skype is great because, in addition to getting to hear your friend’s voice, you can also actually show them what’s new with you, or do something new together!

Start an Online Photo Album

There are so many different ways to share photos online these days, and you and your friend should take advantage of that! You can make a private album that only the two of you can access (you can do this on Facebook, PhotoBucket, etc.), and then you can both upload and comment on each other’s photos and keep up with what’s going on in each other’s lives.

Send Each Other Gifts

If you’re ever out shopping and see a little something that reminds you of your friend, or something you think your friend would love, why not send it to them? With USPS’ Flat Rate Boxes, you can send as much as you want to your long-distance friend for a small fee. Why not make a care package, filled with things you know they like (like homemade treats, or products specific to your area that they can’t get where they live)? If you exchange small gifts every few months, it will remind your friend that you’re thinking about them, and help you two stay friends forever.

Books into Movies: “Sarah’s Key”

movie tickets three

This afternoon I went to see “Sarah’s Key” at the local theatre.  There are three theatres in my town and I actually had to drive to the one farthest from me to see the movie – but I really want to support independent films in this town.  I have been disappointed more than once because a film I was really looking forward to never made it here.  And “here” isn’t a slouch of a city, either.  So when independent films come, I try to support.

I wasn’t really looking forward to seeing this movie, because I knew the story and that it would be sad.  I looked away a few times (I’m so wimpy) and got teary-eyed a few times. It was a good portrayal of the book and wonderfully acted and beautifully filmed. Little girl Sarah was an incredible actress. It makes me wonder if I will ever be able to learn about all of the atrocities of war. You think you know some history and you learn that you know the tip of the iceberg.  (I really probably only know the tip of the tip of the iceberg about history.)

I’m glad I went and “voted with my dollars,” and hope that independent films will continue to come here!

Off to read!

Movies: Catching Up

Reel mosaic

Movies Movies Movies Image by Carbon Arc via Flickr

I’ve seen a few good movies lately, so thought I’d share!

I’ve had a movie-ful summer so far, that’s for sure.  I’ve received a few gifts of gift cards and am thankful for their assistance in my habit!

Netflix: “Downton Abbey” is not a movie, but rather a PBS Masterpiece Theatre series – 7 episodes – and such a delight!  I just found out today that season 2 starts in January!  Something to look forward to…

Netflix: “HappyThankYouMorePlease” was even better than I was thinking it would be!  Good stories about good people.  I love Josh Radnor from HIMYM and he directed and starred in this film.  Great music, too.

Theatre: “Crazy, stupid love.” was also much better than I thought it would be!  The plot was unpredictable (which I find that I appreciate more and more … so many movies and books are simple and dead in their plots) and the characters were sweet. I was moved to tears a few times (could be simply feeling emotional) and laughed a lot.

“Horrible Bosses” was also a great time in the theatre!  Many, many laughs!

I’m currently half-watching “The Band’s Visit” – a movie from the library – about an Egyptian police band who goes to Israel to play for the opening of an Arab Cultural Center but find themselves in the wrong town. It’s in Hebrew and English, so I don’t have to watch it as closely as a fully foreign film.  And since it has a lot of music in it, too, it’s even easier to half-watch. It’s due tomorrow, so I have to get it watched!  It’s enjoyable so far…

I’m going to start a new book tonight and that’s always exciting.  Dang that library that entices me to get such fun books!  But I actually reserved books off my TBR list on goodreads so have some books that I’ll be able to check off.  Yay!

What are you watching or reading?

Off to read!

Books and Movies – Love ’em!

Before the midnight showing of Harry Potter pt 2

I ended up going to a midnight showing of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Pt. 2, with no regrets.  Marissa and I watched Pt. 1 on PPV at home (without popcorn) and then went to the theatre!  We arrived around 10:45 and the there were a lot of people there in costumes and I don’t know how many theatres were actually sold out.  The one we were in was already 2/3 full by the time we got there.  It was exciting to be there with all of the other “giddy” people, to hear the applause throughout the movie – even before the movie started – and to watch the final book come to life.  There were differences, of course, but there was also word-for-word sameness in a lot of dialogue.  Good stuff.

The books are more amazing, of course, but the movies add to the experience.  One of my favorite podcasts, Filmspotting, reviewed the movie after reading ZERO of the books (or even seeing all of the movies), so they had tons of questions, although they gave the movie pretty good reviews.  Marissa hadn’t read any books beyond the first and enjoyed the movies on their own.

So now what?  Other book-related movies are coming out soon.

  • “Snow Flower and the Secret Fan” is in theatres now (7/15) but I don’t see it showing up in Rochester for a while… I will keep my eyes peeled for that one.  I had that one on audio but lost it somewhere (probably on my dead iPod) so I downloaded a digital version from the library (MobiPocket Reader anyone??? Yikes… another program downloaded to read books) but also requested a paperback – and today I got an email that it was ready and waiting!  Yay!  I’ll dig in tonight!
  • “The Help” comes out on August 10 – and it looks so good!  What a fun book to read and discuss.  It will be a book club event to see that together!
  • “One Day” comes out August 19.  (July 15 was the ONE DAY featured in the book!  Should have acknowledged it!)  I look forward to seeing that book on the screen.  I enjoyed reading it – mostly – although the ending didn’t sit right with me.  😦
  • “Jane Eyre” hasn’t made it to Rochester yet – meaning it won’t?  It was released in April, so that’s probably a good bet.  I have it in my Netflix queue but there’s no release date there yet.  Sigh.  I read that book in anticipation of the movie.  I’m glad I caught up with a classic and I know there are multiple versions of the movie that I can pick fromI
  • “Sarah’s Key” was made into a movie!  The book about the Vel’d’Hiv Roundup in 1942 in France was another sad Holocaust story, telling about another unknown-to-me piece of history.  Kristin Scott Thomas stars and it might be French, as the title is listed as “Sarah’s Key (Elle s’appelait Sarah)”.  Releases 7/22!
  • I heard that “Austenland” is being made into a movie starring Keri Russel.  I liked that book, so that’s pretty fun.  Gotta love all things Austen!
There’s the “movie news” portion of the blog – ha!  Just so much good stuff coming up, I guess.  Lots of good material to choose from!
Speaking of book club events, we had book club this afternoon.  I got there late – around 2pm – and we discussed our book (“Olive Kitteredge”) very little!  No one loved the book, although a few of us thought it was good enough.  It’s really short stories about small town life with the character of Olive showing up, being featured, or simply being mentioned somehow in each one.  So the plot and story-line was not easy to follow and the characters were many and difficult to remember.
But oh, did we laugh about other stuff!  Suddenly it was 5:10 and we wondered if we were staying for supper!  Good stories and catch-up time.  Who knows what we’ll do next, but it may be just a movie date along with dinnertime discussion of “Heaven is For Real,” since many had read it already and really wanted to discuss it when done.
Well, I can’t wait to dig in to “Snow Flower and the Secret Fan.”  What are you excited to read?  What movies are you excited to see?
Off to read!

It All Ends 7.15.11

"the end" mosaic

THE END Image by m kasahara via Flickr

The famous tagline for the “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2” movie, which premieres in the US on 7/15.  Last week I watched some of the UK Premiere Red Carpet hoopla and heard the speeches given by the cast and writers and directors.  Tears! Yesterday I finished the audiobook of Book 7.  Tears!  I found myself in the car, listening and crying.  I found myself walking around the house listening – and crying.  And now it’s done.  I am excited to see the movie – although I have found that listening to the books and watching the movies right after has made my head hurt a little.  The changes in plot and circumstances, while necessary to keep the movies under 2.5 hours, are very noticeable when you’ve just finished the book.  Will I see the movie at midnight on July 15?  Maybe.  If not, I’ll wait until an evening next week, when I will be more awake and coherent.

So now, back to my regularly-scheduled podcast listening for a while!  I am behind (although I’ve cut back, with getting back into audiobooks again) so I’ll catch up and then start listening to “Snow Flower and Secret Fan” before that movie comes out!  I’m attempting to listen to “Visit from the Goon Squad,” but finding it difficult to follow on audio. May need a physical copy to read.

I started “The Girl in the Garden” on Monday night and it is a fast and easy read!  I love books set in India or about the Indian culture, so it’s a given that I’ll enjoy it.  I’ll keep you posted about how much!  Kamala Nair is from Rochester and I purchased the book at her book signing at B&N in June. She’s coming to the library the end of July so I may go again and see if she has more to say at that time.

Well, my TBR list continues to grow!  I’m looking forward to some time spent with “The Girl in the Garden” on this beautiful day – not too hot but brilliantly sunny!  Yay!

What are you reading???

Off to read!

Did ya miss me?

P question

??? Image via Wikipedia

Wow.  I was blogging pretty regularly for a while and then I stopped!  I’ll tell you what happened.  A few things, actually.

Reason #1- I got an iPad 2 from work.  Less need to sit at the laptop or desk top and less convenient to blog on the iPad.  I now read all my blogs, read tweets, search the library website, check email and facebook, and play Words with Friends all on the iPad!  Tonight I downloaded my first library book to the iPad!  Who has time to blog!  🙂

Reason #2 is that I received some news that kinda rocked my world a few weeks ago – they are looking at cutting my position at work for next year.  It’s been an emotional roller coaster.  Tons of sadness, a little anger, and growing excitement at what may be.  Every day at work is emotional because it is hard to talk about it with coworkers.  Hard to think about not working with them and the district families anymore – after 18 years of being there.  But I’m thankful for the support I am feeling from coworkers and parents so my new coping strategy is an attitude of gratitude.  I hope it helps me sleep at night. 🙂

Reason #3 is that Easter happened!  Monday night (5/2) when I crawled into bed, I realized that it was the third night I’d slept there since April 20.  I went to Mom and Dad’s for quite a few days during my break from work and then we left last Thursday for a trip to Denver for a wedding!  It’s a lot easier to blog when I’m home and alone.

So with all of this going on, my house is suffering.  Tonight I dealt with the piling up of clothes and tomorrow I’ll have to tackle the mail and dust.  As I said, I also tackled downloading an e-book from the library tonight.  That was quite a task.

So about the iPad.  It’ll have to go back if/when I leave my job but I really think that I will need to get my own.   I have the nook, kindle, and iBooks apps on there.  Overkill or what?  And then to download library e-books, I had to download Overdrive and Adobe.  They don’t work together?  I’ve been wondering about just getting a nook or other e-reader, but I might just need the whole iPad she-bang.

Thoughts?

And now about books (and maybe a movie) – My Spring Thing reading list is below – and there is progress!  How fun is that?  I just finished “Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand” and it was good.  Not super good, but good.  I liked the characters, was confused about the inclusion of some of the characters, but would like to meet Major Pettigrew.  Or just travel to England. 🙂  Before that I read “The Hundred Foot Journey.”  Can’t remember if I blogged about that, but I liked that book, too.  Again, not life-changing, but good. I really need to get some good Indian recipes in my repertoire.

On Easter Sunday Marissa and I went to see “Water for Elephants.”  It was good, but not nearly as good as the book (of course).  You just don’t get the emotions and tensions that you get in the book.  The characters were pretty well cast, although I didn’t picture the main guy to be as cute as Pattinson.  🙂  But it was true to the story.

Spring Thing Reading List:

  • Mockingbird
  • The Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet
  • Saving CeeCee Honeycutt
  • Heart and Soul
  • The Hundred-Foot Journey
  • Fly Away Home
  • Winter’s Garden
  • Harry Potter (2)
  • Harry Potter (3)
  • Harry Potter (4)
  • Harry Potter (5)
  • Harry Potter (6)
  • Harry Potter (7)
  • Jane Eyre
  • Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand

Well, off to read!  On the iPad!

Frigid Spring Friday

"And have you a pale blue dress on?"

"And have you a pale blue dress on?"Image via Wikipedia

Well, not too frigid and beautifully sunny, but cold for spring!

I finished listening to “Jane Eyre” this week – and wrapped up the Jane Eyre challenge on Goodreads!  Kind of a silly little challenge, but fun.  I had to pick my favorite quote, and there were pages and pages to choose from!  I didn’t read beyond the first page of choices and really liked the third quote down.  Lazy or not, it grabbed me.  I’ll even add it to my book quotes page :).  It was: “I would always rather be happy than dignified.”  It’s always good to choose happiness.  As I said on my goodreads review, I really love the language in these old books.  I love when they say the door was “unclosed” rather than plain old “open.”  I love it when they take paragraphs to set a scene or describe someone’s character.  I’m very glad I read it.  I’m sure I’ll see the movie and I’m looking forward to that, too. The only frustration I had with the audiobook was the quality of the CDs.  Many had scratches and the last CD seemed especially bad.  So the climax when I should be learning about what happened to Mr. Rochester was frustrating to listen to.  I miss my iPod for downloading audiobooks.

Another book on my Spring Thing list that I finished this week was “Mockingbird.”  It was a YA book about a girl with Asperger’s Syndrome and told from her perspective.  At first I was frustrated with the fact that it was another book about a person with ASD who was dealing with tragedy.  But I got a little hooked by her voice and the way it was written so that I could really hear her voice.  I had a little tear at the end, although I was racing to finish the little thing so I could return it to the library on time.  It’s worth reading.  It is a lot less cryptic than “The Serious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime,” in that you know almost immediately what is going on.  But it is a YA novel, so not too surprising.

So last night I started a Maeve Binchy book called “Heart and Soul.”  I haven’t read a Binchy book in ages and it just feels like coming home!  I even turned on the light early this morning so that I could read a little before I started my day!  And I”m going to read a little now before heading out for the evening!  Woot Woot!  I’ll have to look at the list of all her books and see if I have missed many.  Don’t think it’s possible!

Heading out tonight to a late movie!  Hope I can stay awake!  I’m looking forward to seeing “Cedar Rapids.”  It’s gotta be a LOT better than the last one I saw in the theatre – “Take Me Home Tonight.”  Wow.  That music video advertising that movie got me inside, but it wasn’t really worth it.  Oh well.  Any night at the movies is a good night!  The most recent netflix movies I’ve seen are:  “It’s Kind of a Funny Story” and “Life as You Know It.”  Yesterday “You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger” came in the mail.  I think it’s a Woody Allen flick.

Gotta love movies and books!
And now… off to read!

Coffee, Scones, and Colin Firth…

66ème Festival de Venise (Mostra) Colin Firth

The Sexy Colin Firth

Greetings all!  This is Sarah… My maiden voyage post!

Today has been a FAB day! Danette and I have the day off- Hooray!  What a wonderful end to the week!  The day has been full of coffee, yummy scones (made by Danette), a mall walk, a quick peruse through Barnes and Noble, and a trip to Trader Joes….and it isn’t even 2pm yet!  I may even make it to a movie this afternoon.  I want to see Black Swan before it leaves the theater.  However, I am not really a “movie buff” like Danette, so my trips to the theater are limited.  By “limited”, I mean that I may see a movie in the theater once per year.  Given this year’s Oscar selections, I am tempted to shatter my previous movie-going record! I also want to see True Grit (currently reading the book), The Fighter, and The Kids are All Right. I did venture to the theater a few weeks ago to see The King’s Speech and was blown away by the story, the humor, and the stellar acting.  It was a WOW movie! Plus, Colin Firth is quite sexy!

Speaking of True Grit, my next post will be about that book!

Cheers!

More movie talk…

In 1998 Reed Hastings founded Netflix, the lar...

Image via Wikipedia

Last night I watched “The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest” on Netflix.  I am disappointed that it didn’t come to the theatre in Rochester, making it the only one I didn’t get to see on the big screen.  I went to Dana’s house to watch it on his big screen, since I usually watch instantly viewed netflix on my computer – a small screen.  The movie was 2.5 hours, but it really flew by.  Of course, it was the same general story as the book, with the omission of TONS, but I think it did a good job of telling the complicated story that the books are made of.  It is still baffling to me how much I liked these books and movies, as violence and intrigue aren’t my usual fare, either in books or movies.  The books made my list of “important things in my life in 2010,” so that’s saying something.

Today I watched “The Wrestler,” or maybe I should say I finished watching it.  I had it on Netflix a while ago and the DVD was scratched or something and I couldn’t finish watching it, so I recorded it and watched the second hour.  Now I can say that’s done.  🙂

My current Netflix DVD is “I Am Love,” which I know very little about.  It might be foreign and it might not be.  It isn’t up for any Oscars but it was up for some Golden Globes, I believe.  I’ll let you know what I think!

What about you? Have you seen anything good lately?

Oscar Nominations

James Franco at the premiere of Spiderman 3 in...

James Franco - co-host of the Oscars and nominee

I heard them this week but didn’t absorb them fully.  I realize, as I look at the list right now, that I have seen 8 out of the 10 nominations!  I’m pretty amazed!  Some years I don’t come this close by half!  So, it will be a fun to watch the Oscar’s this year – although I always think it’s fun to watch!  I don’t know if I will see the two movies that I haven’t seen, but you never know.  This could be the year!

Below is the list – with a few comments by me:

BEST PICTURE NOMINEES

“Black Swan” – I saw this with Marissa.  She really wanted to see it, I really did not.  I liked it; I thought Natalie Portman was amazing; I felt the suspense.  I figured out early on ***SPOILER ALERT*** that this wasn’t a stalker movie and the relationship she had with her mother was unhealthy (to put it mildly).

“The Fighter” – I haven’t seen this one.  I listened to a review and it might be something I rent (ala “The Wrestler”) but I probably won’t go to the theatres for this.  I hear Christian Bale is magnificent and that Mark Wahlberg’s character is meek and not magnificent.

“Inception”- I saw this at Marissa’s recommendation.  I liked it a LOT more than I thought I would and felt truly mind-bended when it was done!  I didn’t think it was too confusing and was amazed by the special effects of the dream layers.  Wow.

“The Kids Are All Right”- I really enjoyed this, especially because I am a HUGE Mark Ruffalo fan!  Wow, he is great.  I liked the family dynamics and relationships and thought it was great.  I saw it a while ago and it’s available on DVD so I’ll probably re-watch soon.  It’s worth it.  🙂

“The King’s Speech”- I saw this last weekend, and loved it!  I love Colin Firth, so it’s always easy to watch him on screen, even though sometimes it was painful to watch him in this, as he did a great job playing the Duke with a stutter.  I liked the relationship between the two men, the relationship the Duke and Duchess had, and even the sweet relationship (although briefly shown) he had with his daughters.  I hope that the Duke was as sweet as he was portrayed.

“127 Hours”- The second movie on this list that I haven’t seen.  It is playing at the “theatre near me” again, but I really don’t know if I need to see it.  I heard that there is a scene that is horrific to watch and maybe I’ll do that someday in my own home, when I can walk out of the room, but maybe not.  James Franco isn’t one of the men that I love (yet), unlike the men mentioned above, so I don’t feel the need to see this.  We’ll see!

“The Social Network”- I really liked this, too.  It is smart, fast, witty, and interesting.  I am looking forward to seeing it again and I know I will enjoy it as much!  The dialogue is smart and fun and I would love to take it in again.

“Toy Story 3”- I saw this with Marissa and Gracie in Des Moines on Father’s Day.  It was great.  I laughed.  I cried.  I wore the 3D glasses.  The Toy Story franchise in my mind is wrapped up with Dana’s kids.  I took Gunnar to see these and have watched all the kids play with every variation of Buzz and Woody available.  The characters are loved.  So when I watch Andy grow up and give away his toys, it made me sentimental for how quickly those kids in our family are growing up.  They did a good job, and it was a good ending to the trilogy.

“True Grit” – I just saw this last night and I’m really glad I did!  I did have to look away a few times, but I enjoyed the story, the characters, the music, and the setting.  The girl was amazing – such an educated girl on a mission.  Jeff Bridges was amazing – I loved him as Bad Blake in “Crazy Heart” last year and thought he was amazing as Rooster Cogburn.  Matt Damon was a blast – what an interesting character he got to play!  Last night when we got home I noticed that the original “True Grit” was playing on amc and my dad (John Wayne Lover) said that he didn’t ever watch this original movie because of Glen Campbell playing LaBoeuf.  I watched a minute, and I can see why.  But I loved Damon’s portrayal of that man.  Just a little on the creepy side. 🙂

“Winter’s Bone”  – I rented this and watched it last weekend.  I thought the girl was amazing and was saddened by the poverty and meth culture that was shown.  It wasn’t fun to watch but a good movie.

Well – HUGE post!  I’m not sure I would have an easy time picking one movie to win BEST PICTURE, because I did like all of them that I saw!  Let me know what you think of the nominees!  Have you seen the ones I haven’t?  Did you like the ones you have seen?

And I usually end with “Off to Read,” but I think I have to end this one with GOTTA CLEAN!  🙂
Happy Saturday!